We blame others for a number of events: so and so made us late, she made me feel guilty, they pressured me to make a decision, he made me explode with rage. WHAT IS BLAME?īlame is defined as assigning responsibility for a fault or wrong. If you would like to learn more about how cognitive behavioral therapy can help you overcome the “blaming others” psychology, then contact Citron Hennessey and schedule an appointment at our Manhattan office. This post will primarily focus on the psychological reasons for blaming others, the reasons we do it, as well as ways to overcome this distortion. An example of this would be someone saying, “If the barista had made my coffee faster, I wouldn’t have been late to my meeting.”ĭo you find yourself blaming others when events don’t unfold how you want them to? Once you blame someone, do you then think they deserve to be treated or thought of poorly? Do you notice this pattern repeating often in your life? If so, it’s probably because you are engaged in the blame game. The flip side of this distortion is blaming other people for what happens in our lives. One of the distortions that Burns discussed was personalization – the act of blaming ourselves for something that is not within our control. Cognitive distortions are patterns of thinking that are false or inaccurate and have the potential to cause psychological distress.

In his book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, cognitive behavioral therapist David Burns identifies several cognitive distortions.

We who are not as others